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"I don't like this."
"You can do it, Ben. Calm yourself, let go of your feelings. Release your humanity and feel the flow of the Force around you. Let its current sweep you away, but listen to my voice. It shall be your tether."
Ben squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a tremor run through him as he tried so hard to do what his father said. It was so hard though. This power, this strange technique frightened him. He wish he knew why his father suddenly wanted him to learn it.
It started days ago when out of the blue, he'd been asked if he wanted to go on a fishing trip. Just the two of them! While he'd been wary of him lately, Ben thought his father was finally starting to get back to normal, so he'd happily agreed.
However, while they had packed their gear and shipped off, they hadn't gone to any of their usual spots. Instead he'd been taken far off to the edges of the Outer Rim. Ben had never traveled so far before that he could remember. They were picked up by a ship of monks called the Aing-Tii. He was curious as to how his father knew about them but hadn't the time to ask.
They were taken in and treated well enough. His father told him that they were a Force-sensitive race that studied the Force not just in Light and Dark but every aspect of its spectrum.
Ben had the greatest potential, as his son, he'd been told. There was no better place for him to learn new abilities than amongst these ancient monks.
He'd been quite skeptical, of course, but he would never refuse his father. He thought that out of them all it was Sammi or Annie with the most to contribute to the galaxy, with their talent, knowledge, and beauty. Ben considered himself to be plain; no smarter or stronger or better than the average boy.
His father wouldn't allow him to voice such thoughts, deciding that Ben needed to open himself to the Force and learn new abilities, ones that the others couldn't dream of. Ones his grandfather may not even be privy to.
And that's how he ended up here with his father, trying his hand at something impossible. You couldn't look back in time, the thought of it was ridiculous and every time he tried to let go of himself like he had been instructed, he felt so cold and alone. There was too much stimulation, all the sights and thoughts. He could swear he could even smell perfume... the same that Auntie Leia wore, but he was trying to go back way further than when his aunt and father were even born.
He caught a glimpse of kind eyes every time before he pulled away...
They were like Auntie Leia's but he knew it couldn't be her.
"I want to stop." Ben said, voice soft as he was kicked back to himself again. He doubled over where he was sitting, feeling overwhelmed and sick. It was just too much for him, he couldn't--
Sighing lightly, Luke crouched in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Very well. I can't force you to keep going. Rest tonight, meditate, stabilize yourself and we'll start again tomorrow if you feel ready."
Oh, good. He was so worried that his father would be angry with him. The opportunity to rest was a great relief and he managed a smile as he looked up at his father, seeing that smile returned.
"Come on, then! Baby boy needs his nappytime~" Without any other warning, Luke swept Ben effortlessly up into his arms and began to carry him off, rocking him on the way. "Rock-a-bye Benny, on the treetopppp~!"
"No, stop, Daaaaad! I'm not a baby!" Though his pout said otherwise. He reached up and clasped a hand over his mouth to shush him, but squeaked when his father licked his hand in retaliation. "EEEEWWW DAAAAAAD! GROSS!"
With a laugh, Luke swung his boy over his shoulder and settled him on his back, thinking that would be at least slightly less emasculating. "There we go. Better, little buddy?"
"MUCH better." Ben agreed, settling his arms around his father's neck as he was carried. "I might fall asleep though..." "You always fall asleep. You get that from me. All of your raw Force energy exhausts you. Grandpa has the same issue, but he has a stronger sense of duty than we do so he manages to ignore it when hr wants to." Laughing, Luke smiled fondly, thinking how funny it was that the Skywalker boys were all so similar.
The Solo boy, though...
With how like their father Leia was, it was surprising to him how Jacen wasn't much like any of them. A mix of Leia and Han's qualities, sure, but it was all of Leia's bad and Han's good.
And Han's good weren't really all that 'good'...
"Stop thinking of that jerk, he bums me out." "You shouldn't think so ill of your cousin, Ben." "Why? He's a mean jerk that made me dress up like a girl."
Luke faltered in his steps then, surprised. "Wait wait wait, it was Jacen that did that?" "Yeah, he said I was the only one girly enough to go undercover and help the girls." "Wow." A pause. "Let's keep that from your mother or you'll be down a cousin."
Huh. Ben hadn't thought of that. Maybe he should--
"Ben Skywalker, if youre going to have dastardly thoughts, you had best learn to hide them better."
Oops. "Uh.. yeah, okay Dad. Got it."
They traveled the rest of the short distance to their bunks, where Luke sat Ben down on the bed. "There we go. You take care, I'm going to go talk to the monks about your progress today. Maybe we can find a way to make it easier for you."
"Okay, thanks Dad." "And Ben?" "Yeah?"
A beat.
"You should learn to hide your romantic thoughts, too. They might upset someone if they're not ready for it." With that, he was gone, leaving Ben with a beet-red face, mouth hanging open in shock.
That was definitely NOT how he wanted his Dad to find out.
And he couldn't just let him walk off after that either, what the heck!
Jumping up from the bed, he ran out the door and grabbed his father, who hadn't gotten very far quite yet. "Hang on a sec! Don't just-- I mean, you can't drop a bombshell like that and leave!"
"I'm the one dropping the bombshell?" Luke asked, though not unkindly. Turning, he ruffled his boy's hair and smiled down at him. "I take it you want to talk about it, then? That's fine. We can." The boy had a temper like Mara's, so it was best to satiate it before he blew up.
"Good." Ben grabbed his father's hand and pulled him back into the room, going to sit with him on the bed and... fidget. He may have wanted to talk about it but now that he had the opportunity he didn't really know what to say.
"... I loved your Auntie Leia."
Well. That certainly broke the ice on the topic.
"What? Really? Like--that way?" Ben mentally kicked himself for how childish that sounded. His father gave a light nod. "I still do. We're very close. Neither of us had many friends when we were young... Leia was a queen at such a young age. She couldn't just regress and be a child again, have friends her own age, though she tried so hard."
The younger Skywalker nodded, curious, listening intently as his father continued. "I was shy. So very shy and I thought it was more important to bond with my family than make friends, though I wasn't very good at either. I was bullied a lot, after moving here. Daddy's boy needed little sister to protect him and other taunts like that. So neither of us had anyone to grow close to but each other."
Huh. Somehow that really made sense. Ben and Annie had just always been close. Mom said once that when he and Annie met as little babies they took each other's hand and wouldn't let go. Maybe they kinda bonded somehow already! Maybe in the Force before they were born.
"... we never told Grandpa anything because really there wasn't anything to tell. Nothing came of it, not that we tried. I just want you to know, Ben, that I understand. And it's okay." He reached out, ruffling his fiery hair again. "You're our children. Besides, with namesakes like yours it's like we were asking for it."
They both laughed at that.
“Okay. Well. Thanks for telling me... I guess I’ll keep you updated on it or something. I mean I might not even have to say anything to Mom or anyone because I haven’t even talked to Annie. But I will. When I can figure out what to say.” Letting out a sigh, Ben rubbed his face, feeling so overwhelmed by everything, but thankful for his father. It was comforting to know that he knew and had been through something similar. It gave him hope.
“Even if things don’t go the way you want them to, it won’t be bad. Because Annie would never turn his back on you and you’d still be the best of friends. Isn’t that right?” “Yeah!” Ben said, perking up at the thought. Of course! Even if he said no, he didn’t think his cousin would ever be mean or even weird about any of it. It wasn’t in his character and they were very best friends. He’d understand and let him down gently and never have a single mean thought about it.
“Alright.” Luke leaned in and took Ben briefly into his arms, giving him a squeeze and his temple a kiss. “Now that you have even more things to meditate on, I’m going to leave you to it. If you need me, just come running after me again, okay? I’ll always turn around and come back to you.”
Nodding, Ben returned his father’s hug and smiled, giving him a little wave this time as he went out the door.
It was settled.
The next time he saw Annie, he’d let him know everything! How he felt and what he wanted... because the worst that could happen was being turned down. But that was still okay because they’d always be close friends.
There was nothing to be afraid of!
"You can do it, Ben. Calm yourself, let go of your feelings. Release your humanity and feel the flow of the Force around you. Let its current sweep you away, but listen to my voice. It shall be your tether."
Ben squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a tremor run through him as he tried so hard to do what his father said. It was so hard though. This power, this strange technique frightened him. He wish he knew why his father suddenly wanted him to learn it.
It started days ago when out of the blue, he'd been asked if he wanted to go on a fishing trip. Just the two of them! While he'd been wary of him lately, Ben thought his father was finally starting to get back to normal, so he'd happily agreed.
However, while they had packed their gear and shipped off, they hadn't gone to any of their usual spots. Instead he'd been taken far off to the edges of the Outer Rim. Ben had never traveled so far before that he could remember. They were picked up by a ship of monks called the Aing-Tii. He was curious as to how his father knew about them but hadn't the time to ask.
They were taken in and treated well enough. His father told him that they were a Force-sensitive race that studied the Force not just in Light and Dark but every aspect of its spectrum.
Ben had the greatest potential, as his son, he'd been told. There was no better place for him to learn new abilities than amongst these ancient monks.
He'd been quite skeptical, of course, but he would never refuse his father. He thought that out of them all it was Sammi or Annie with the most to contribute to the galaxy, with their talent, knowledge, and beauty. Ben considered himself to be plain; no smarter or stronger or better than the average boy.
His father wouldn't allow him to voice such thoughts, deciding that Ben needed to open himself to the Force and learn new abilities, ones that the others couldn't dream of. Ones his grandfather may not even be privy to.
And that's how he ended up here with his father, trying his hand at something impossible. You couldn't look back in time, the thought of it was ridiculous and every time he tried to let go of himself like he had been instructed, he felt so cold and alone. There was too much stimulation, all the sights and thoughts. He could swear he could even smell perfume... the same that Auntie Leia wore, but he was trying to go back way further than when his aunt and father were even born.
He caught a glimpse of kind eyes every time before he pulled away...
They were like Auntie Leia's but he knew it couldn't be her.
"I want to stop." Ben said, voice soft as he was kicked back to himself again. He doubled over where he was sitting, feeling overwhelmed and sick. It was just too much for him, he couldn't--
Sighing lightly, Luke crouched in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Very well. I can't force you to keep going. Rest tonight, meditate, stabilize yourself and we'll start again tomorrow if you feel ready."
Oh, good. He was so worried that his father would be angry with him. The opportunity to rest was a great relief and he managed a smile as he looked up at his father, seeing that smile returned.
"Come on, then! Baby boy needs his nappytime~" Without any other warning, Luke swept Ben effortlessly up into his arms and began to carry him off, rocking him on the way. "Rock-a-bye Benny, on the treetopppp~!"
"No, stop, Daaaaad! I'm not a baby!" Though his pout said otherwise. He reached up and clasped a hand over his mouth to shush him, but squeaked when his father licked his hand in retaliation. "EEEEWWW DAAAAAAD! GROSS!"
With a laugh, Luke swung his boy over his shoulder and settled him on his back, thinking that would be at least slightly less emasculating. "There we go. Better, little buddy?"
"MUCH better." Ben agreed, settling his arms around his father's neck as he was carried. "I might fall asleep though..." "You always fall asleep. You get that from me. All of your raw Force energy exhausts you. Grandpa has the same issue, but he has a stronger sense of duty than we do so he manages to ignore it when hr wants to." Laughing, Luke smiled fondly, thinking how funny it was that the Skywalker boys were all so similar.
The Solo boy, though...
With how like their father Leia was, it was surprising to him how Jacen wasn't much like any of them. A mix of Leia and Han's qualities, sure, but it was all of Leia's bad and Han's good.
And Han's good weren't really all that 'good'...
"Stop thinking of that jerk, he bums me out." "You shouldn't think so ill of your cousin, Ben." "Why? He's a mean jerk that made me dress up like a girl."
Luke faltered in his steps then, surprised. "Wait wait wait, it was Jacen that did that?" "Yeah, he said I was the only one girly enough to go undercover and help the girls." "Wow." A pause. "Let's keep that from your mother or you'll be down a cousin."
Huh. Ben hadn't thought of that. Maybe he should--
"Ben Skywalker, if youre going to have dastardly thoughts, you had best learn to hide them better."
Oops. "Uh.. yeah, okay Dad. Got it."
They traveled the rest of the short distance to their bunks, where Luke sat Ben down on the bed. "There we go. You take care, I'm going to go talk to the monks about your progress today. Maybe we can find a way to make it easier for you."
"Okay, thanks Dad." "And Ben?" "Yeah?"
A beat.
"You should learn to hide your romantic thoughts, too. They might upset someone if they're not ready for it." With that, he was gone, leaving Ben with a beet-red face, mouth hanging open in shock.
That was definitely NOT how he wanted his Dad to find out.
And he couldn't just let him walk off after that either, what the heck!
Jumping up from the bed, he ran out the door and grabbed his father, who hadn't gotten very far quite yet. "Hang on a sec! Don't just-- I mean, you can't drop a bombshell like that and leave!"
"I'm the one dropping the bombshell?" Luke asked, though not unkindly. Turning, he ruffled his boy's hair and smiled down at him. "I take it you want to talk about it, then? That's fine. We can." The boy had a temper like Mara's, so it was best to satiate it before he blew up.
"Good." Ben grabbed his father's hand and pulled him back into the room, going to sit with him on the bed and... fidget. He may have wanted to talk about it but now that he had the opportunity he didn't really know what to say.
"... I loved your Auntie Leia."
Well. That certainly broke the ice on the topic.
"What? Really? Like--that way?" Ben mentally kicked himself for how childish that sounded. His father gave a light nod. "I still do. We're very close. Neither of us had many friends when we were young... Leia was a queen at such a young age. She couldn't just regress and be a child again, have friends her own age, though she tried so hard."
The younger Skywalker nodded, curious, listening intently as his father continued. "I was shy. So very shy and I thought it was more important to bond with my family than make friends, though I wasn't very good at either. I was bullied a lot, after moving here. Daddy's boy needed little sister to protect him and other taunts like that. So neither of us had anyone to grow close to but each other."
Huh. Somehow that really made sense. Ben and Annie had just always been close. Mom said once that when he and Annie met as little babies they took each other's hand and wouldn't let go. Maybe they kinda bonded somehow already! Maybe in the Force before they were born.
"... we never told Grandpa anything because really there wasn't anything to tell. Nothing came of it, not that we tried. I just want you to know, Ben, that I understand. And it's okay." He reached out, ruffling his fiery hair again. "You're our children. Besides, with namesakes like yours it's like we were asking for it."
They both laughed at that.
“Okay. Well. Thanks for telling me... I guess I’ll keep you updated on it or something. I mean I might not even have to say anything to Mom or anyone because I haven’t even talked to Annie. But I will. When I can figure out what to say.” Letting out a sigh, Ben rubbed his face, feeling so overwhelmed by everything, but thankful for his father. It was comforting to know that he knew and had been through something similar. It gave him hope.
“Even if things don’t go the way you want them to, it won’t be bad. Because Annie would never turn his back on you and you’d still be the best of friends. Isn’t that right?” “Yeah!” Ben said, perking up at the thought. Of course! Even if he said no, he didn’t think his cousin would ever be mean or even weird about any of it. It wasn’t in his character and they were very best friends. He’d understand and let him down gently and never have a single mean thought about it.
“Alright.” Luke leaned in and took Ben briefly into his arms, giving him a squeeze and his temple a kiss. “Now that you have even more things to meditate on, I’m going to leave you to it. If you need me, just come running after me again, okay? I’ll always turn around and come back to you.”
Nodding, Ben returned his father’s hug and smiled, giving him a little wave this time as he went out the door.
It was settled.
The next time he saw Annie, he’d let him know everything! How he felt and what he wanted... because the worst that could happen was being turned down. But that was still okay because they’d always be close friends.
There was nothing to be afraid of!
