forcelegacy | new era log v: cora's departure?

It was mid-morning when Cora began to pack.

She'd been considering this move for quite some time. The praxeum had done her some good over the last few years; her fear toward the Force had waned if only just, and she had managed to learn some battle skills, though the other students were far ahead of her in that regard.

Everything was too much for her. She thought that she could handle it, because Jacen was near. He lent her his strength, he helped her, tutored her. It was wonderful and she cherished that time that they had together, but he never... truly saw her. He didn't seem to understand her feelings at all.

Amplifying her loneliness and desire for love, was a recent trip she'd made to Mandalore. There were royal duties to attend to, as the heir, and she'd had to miss several days in order to fulfill them. She was about the age now where she would have to be doing that more often, and she'd recently become adult-age...

... with Jacen having no interest in her, there was no reason for her to stay at the praxeum anymore.

She'd purchased transport from Naboo already; her freighter didn't leave for several hours. She hadn't told either parent yet, nor any friends. She wasn't intending on doing so until she had already left Naboo.

No one here would truly miss her, and everyone on Mandalore would be delighted to have her company. Of that, she was sure. Even though it was so close to graduation, it was best to leave. She believed that fully.

After getting one bag packed with trinkets and such that she considered absolute necessities, she decided she felt faint - overwhelmed, really - and slipped out of her bedroom to go and fetch some water. Because she had been packing, she was more unkempt than usual. Typically, her long hair was always tied back out of her face, but it was free, cascading over her back and shoulders much like her mother's did. Her dress was thin-strapped, a bit low-cut and the skirt above the knee. The only thing typical about her appearance was the fact that she was barefoot.

She hated shoes. Always went about without them whenever she possibly could. Especially outside.

Sighing softly, she vaguely hoped in the back of her mind that she wouldn't run in to anyone. It was just to get a touch of water, a little sustenance... then back to her plans. She didn't want to get caught. Hallie was always out this time of day so there was no risk there; the biggest risk would be her emotions betraying her.

So few people could read her, though, and the only ones who stood a chance were supposed to be out in town this afternoon... thank goodness.

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Unfortunately for Cora, Jacen rose early to train. Training for him was intense and physical; in the warm climate of Naboo, that made for frequent water breaks. So she would not only be running into 'somebody', she'd be running into the somebody who had always thought her place was here, among family, among peers; among the people who could appreciate, elevate and teach her to best use her gifts.

Of course, Cora wasn't chief on his mind as he headed out, in search of a cool drink. In fact, when he saw her, he was taken about by surprise... firstly on his not being alone here, secondly on her appearance.

"Out for a jog?" Probably not in that outfit, mind...

Nonetheless, he sported a smile at her. "You're up early for a weekend." Up and inside the praxeum, more noticeably, rather than ambling around outside. But he left that part out.

"I don't like to jog..."

Cora said quietly, fingers trailing along the edge of the marble counter as she got in to the kitchen, glancing back over her shoulder at him, trying not to betray how suddenly caught she felt.

Looking him over, she took in his flushed appearance, skin glistening ever so faintly... she knew he'd been training. She knew his routine by now and it was obvious just looking at him. Oh, this would be so difficult.

"... I had errands."

Edited Date: 2012-10-07 11:12 pm (UTC)

"You don't like errands either." He pointed out, turning round to face her, both palms on the coutner-top now as he inspected her.

Not that he needed to, really. She had no shield for her emotions, couldn't mind her thoughts. That she was troubled, panicked and ready to leave... all of that was obvious to Jacen, as if she were an open book.

Because she was.

"Are your errands taking you off-planet?"

"... indeed they are."

She answered him, tone almost shaky. She couldn't mind her thoughts with him, nor was she a very good actress. When he gave her that stare, scrutinizing her, she backed up until she felt herself hit the opposite counter, hands behind her, bracing herself lightly against it as she turned her face away. Golden hair came down to shield her face, the way she bit her lip, hiding the hesitation in her eyes.

"That's a shame."

He gave, straightening up, going to walk past her; but stopping, right beside her, practically shoulder to shoulder. Turning, he gave in a light tone, "Because you belong here. With us. And that's not something you should keep running away from, Cora; who you are and the people who care for you."

"... care." Cora whispered softly, glancing up at him.

".. you say that you care. But you do not understand." A hand came up, going to cup his cheek as she tilted her head slightly. "When you look at me, Jacen, you do not truly see me. This care you speak of is not the care I wish to receive."

A brow raised, just slightly.

"I'm sorry?" Not quite getting it. He saw her potential and he cared for her as he did his entire family. What was there to understand?

"Do you even see yourself?"

"I only see myself as what I'm worth in your eyes, Jacen. But... you do not see me, thus making me worth nothing."

Cora's other hand came up to his cheek and she cupped his face, sliding in close to him and suddenly pressing him back against the counter, pinned there with her slight frame.

"How do you mean, that I don't see you? I'm looking right at you. I'm acknowledging that you belong here; your potential." In Jacen's life, there wasn't much else. Potential, hard work, success. Family mattered to him, but family had always been built on those things, in his own. His Queen mother, his record-breaking father, his tech-savvy sister, his powerful little brother. It all came down to potential.

Blue eyes looked him over slowly, before they came up again to meet his own.

Rather suddenly, she went up onto her toes and wound her arms around his neck as she pressed her lips firmly to his own. If he didn't see her, if he didn't understand, she would just have to open his eyes herself.

--Oh.

Well. That. That--

Explained why she'd done it the first time, he realized. Something he hadn't thought about in years.

If, very suddenly, like a rock cracking through ice, her body felt somehow warm and pleasing in its shape pressed up against him, he did his best to discount it.

Anyway, he wasn't a droid. A kiss he understood.

After a moment, Cora pulled back just enough to breathe.

"... and even now, you seem so disinterested in me." She let out a soft sigh, going to kiss the corner of his mouth and nuzzle gently into his neck, pressing her lips to his warm skin, still a bit flush from his training moments ago.

Slowly, very slowly, he lifted a hand. And placed it onto the small of her back.

"I'm not."

He'd need-- time. To sort out how he felt. But he was keenly aware that this was the difference between her staying and going and so--

"I'm not disinterested."

"But you don't know what you feel."

Cora said slyly, glancing up at him with a suddenly sharp look on her face, eyes all too aware. "... you're an open book, Jacen Solo. One that I've read many times."

Her hands slowly slid down his chest, eventually getting to the waistband of his pants, fingers hooking into his beltloops.

"Can you blame me? You haven't even given me a full minute to process this." He reminded, smirking just faintly now, staring down at her.

"What is there to process?"

A blond brow arched as her lips curled, smirking right back up at him. "You have a girl that worships you declaring her love for you, and... she happens to be rather improperly dressed."

As she spoke, she went to take one of his hands, bringing it to her face to nuzzle. "Maybe we should go somewhere private..?"

"I'm not like that." He insisted, tilting his head slightly. "Not that-- that isn't an appealing thought." Added, sure on that count. "But I don't take advantage of people. Especially when you've only just told me."

He smiled vaguely then, adding, "Besides; your did would kill me. And didn't you have those errands to run? 'Off-Planet'?"

"It's not taking advantage if I'm the one offering. You're rejecting me."

Cora huffed and slid away from him, running a hand through her hair as she took a few paces away. "Permanently off-planet. For if you do not desire me then my being here has no purpose. No matter how much my father and siblings may want me here, I've never felt like I've belonged. You were the only reason I decided to come in the first place..."

"You're being a little immature." He said, bluntly. "Not letting someone come to terms with a realization. If you'd wanted something like that of me, all you had to do was ask."

"I'm immature? You're the boy turning down a fun romp in the sheets."

Smirking over her shoulder, she crooked a finger at him. "We can do other things if you're not quite prepared for that."

"Listen to yourself." He gave, frowning outright now. "That's not the Cora I know; and I don't quite like this one as much." He insisted, a little less than thrilled by her almost... mannish behavior.

At those words, her smirk melted completely away and she averted her gaze.

After a few moments, she slowly started to wander off, thinking about heading back to finish her packing. "... I apologize. I got overexcited. I won't be so blunt in the future."

"For there to be a future, you would have to stay." He reminded, as she retreated off, back towards the direction of her room.

"Are you asking me to?"

She stopped in the doorway but did not turn back, simply awaiting his answer.

A pause.

"Yes."

The simple, honest answer.

That said, he turned back into the kitchen to get what he'd come for; a few apples, some milk and honey.